Is conformity really so bad?

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Canadian family raising a genderless baby, I read an article on their story by chance last week (I can't find it anymore, so can't link!). Since then I’ve been reading interviews and such and it’s given me a lot of food for thought. I’m not going to get into the merits of what they’re doing and I’m not linking to any of the articles I’ve read, because there’s a lot of negativity out there regarding this family’s decision.

Before sharing my viewpoint, I’d like to say that I’m not judging them, I think that as long as they’re doing what they’re doing because they feel it’s in the best interest of their own children and not because they wanted the media attention, then that should be good enough for all of us. But any sort of highly controversial act, as this one, is going to lead to a lot of discussion and thought, which is why I decided to write about it.

Apparently, the parents decided to do this because their oldest child, a boy, doesn’t “fit traditional gender roles”, he likes his hair long and likes dresses and the color pink. Evidently, this boy has faced some hardships due to his preferences and I think the logic is that keeping the baby genderless as long as possible sets an example to their two older children about how gender distinctions aren’t important, or in any case, aren’t as important as looking at the individual without a gender bias.

The following italicized bit is the comment I left on the article, it was my initial gut reaction, which incidentally is still my opinion after having researched the subject further:

This is interesting, and a little bit scary, I think. It's one thing to not "fit traditional gender roles" and another thing to remove the concept of gender altogether, because we are, in fact, characterized by our gender. The older child may have to face a series of difficulties due to the fact that he doesn't fit traditional gender roles, and his parents will have to help him navigate through them. But preventively creating an issue, where one simply doesn't exist - this baby is only four months - is risky. This child, exactly like the older sibling, will have to go out into society at large sooner or later and will be faced with the issue of his gender. But whereas the older child when faced with the very simple and straightforward  "are you a boy or a girl" question can be taught to answer "I'm a boy and I like pink, it's no business of yours" this baby won't have an acceptable answer at all. And by acceptable I mean an answer that his peers and strangers will be able to understand without lengthy, drawn out explanations. I think the risk here is putting this child in an impossible situation. We don't want to stick our children into categories unduly, but not giving a child a category at all is doing exactly that, isn't it? […]

The only thing I really take issue with is something the mother said in a letter she wrote in response to some pretty harsh criticism that they received, this is what she wrote:  “the idea that the whole world must know our baby’s sex strikes me as unhealthy, unsafe and voyeuristic.”

I take issue with this because in my opinion it is neither unhealthy, unsafe nor voyeuristic that “the world” as she says, knows the sex of her baby, no more than it is unhealthy, unsafe or voyeuristic that the world knows her baby is blond with blue eyes. First of all the whole world doesn’t know the sex of your baby unless you put it out there, which they did in a sense, because though we may not know the sex of the baby suddenly it's become a big issue. 
Generally, for non public figures, which the majority of us are (which this family was before all the hoopla), the people that know our baby’s sex can be counted in the hundreds, possibly the thousand’s at most, if you’ve got loads of friends and acquaintances hell, if you’ve got a really popular blog, maybe hundreds of thousands, but with a worldwide population of a little under seven billion it’s still a comparatively small number. And even then, how many of the people that know your baby’s sex actually care, or remember? I have acquaintances I see only rarely that I know have kids but can’t for the life of me remember how many and what gender.

So her kids don’t have gender appropriate behaviors. So what? They must have done a good job as parents, giving their children the freedom and the security to be whichever way they want to be. Their boy wants to have long, flowing hair and likes dresses and colorful fabrics and they supported him and gave him the self assurance to be any way he wants, so as far as that goes Bravo, I say. But, I believe that with this third child they took it too far, because they turned it into a media thing. Now they don’t just want to teach their children the best way they know how, they want to be an example of something to everyone else. They want to “change the world” as they say to a more accepting, tolerant place, a sentiment I wholly concur with, but... changes happen gradually. We are in a far better place today than fifty years ago, and I believe that fifty years from now we’ll be in an even better place – there’s always room for improvement.

I’m just not so sure that becoming gender-less is an improvement. Some people fit gender roles to a T, some not so much, others not at all, and I do believe that all the options must be accepted and respected. All of the options, including the desire to conform to long-standing societal roles. I’m a conformist, when my kids were born I tended to dress my boy in blue and other “boy colors” and my girl in pink, I thought the clothes were cute and the babies were cute in them. It never occurred to me to dress them any other way. As they grow I’ll support and accept any of their choices, as long as they’re happy and healthy, and I’ll help them navigate society if they decide to make choices that are hard to explain or live with. But in my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with conformity as there’s nothing wrong with non-conformity.

I find it very tiring that everything has to be “original”, original is the new cool. And I find it especially tiring that if someone decides to live their life in a manner that goes against the grain they feel the need to make it public, to teach a lesson where none is needed, to face the world with a look at me, this is how it’s done attitude.

Because, “this is how it’s done” is how we get conformity and uniformity to begin with, it’s the opposite of original if everyone does what you do, isn’t it?

So, again I ask, if everyone tries to be tolerant, sympathetic and understanding, if we face the world with an open heart and a smile on our face and take things at face value, differences and all, then is there really something wrong with conformity?

Awards, confessions and blog love

Oh me, oh my, I posted three days in a row, what could possibly be going on with me, it’s not like I can use my blog to get out of work, can I ?!?! (If you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about read here.)

The truth is that the lovely Bridget from Twinisms, the courageous mom of, get this (and you may actually want to be sitting down before you continue reading), two sets of twins – ok I’ll just give you a minute to let that sink in – was so kind as to pass on a blogging award to me (well actually two bloggy awards, anyhoo). Now, not only is this incredibly flattering (to me) and sweet (of her) but it’s also fun because in accordance to the rules of acceptance of these awards I must tell you seven things you don’t know about me, and then pass them on to other bloggers I love, kind of like a chain letter but without all the annoying threats of apocalyptic bad luck to those who don’t play.

   

So here goes nothing, seven things you may not know about me:

1. I am a technology junkie. I don’t go anywhere without my iphone, ipad and kindle (as well as my MacBook Air, as often as not). I’m not kidding, I stack them up just so and carry them around the house with me, from room to room, like a weird and articulated security blanket.

2. I won’t go to sleep without having a snack first. Ever. Most of the time (when I’m motivated) it’ll be a zone diet approved snack, so no guilt, but some of the time it’s just plain junk – twizzlers, goldfish crackers, nutrageous – right before going to sleep, for maximum calorie assimilation. This probably explains why I’m losing weight at a snail’s pace.

3. Never so much as right after my wedding did I use the phrase “I should’ve listened to my Mother”. It infuriates me, but the few things that went wrong were the ones in which I completely disregarded her advice. Sigh. Let this be a lesson to any young bride- to-be out there reading this, when in doubt call my mother.

4. I was very insecure in high school and through most of college, this led to some pretty erratic behavior and a lot of embarrassment when I think back to that time. I sometimes wish I could get a do-over, but with my present day self-assuredness and a healthy dose of humility.

5. I don’t like dogs. There I said it, you can leave now. I don’t hate them or anything, and I don’t have anything against them or their owners, I just don’t want one in my life. Ever. Never ever. And I’m pretty frightened by the fact that my daughter loves them.

6. I don’t shave my legs as often as I should. In fact, I never wear skirts for this precise reason. If you see me in pants (that’ll be trousers for the Brits reading this, not underwear, you’ll never see me in my underwear!) you can bet I’ve got all sorts of hairy legs going on underneath there. I know, it’s gross; I just can’t be bothered.

7. Even though I’m well on my way towards middle age when I think of myself, what I can do, what adventures, opportunities and discoveries are still before me I clearly envision myself as a twenty year old. Does this make me delusional or wise, I wonder?

There you go, now you know me way better than you may have ever desired to… lucky you! And now it’s time to share a little blog love, so go check out my blog friends:

I’m so Fancy – because we should all get to live like the rich, though we may only do it vicariously.

The Nero Chronicles – because the occasional dose of beautiful things and beautiful words can turn around the dreariest of days.

Nuts about food – because who doesn’t need some inspiration in the kitchen sometimes, right?

In Bloom . because it’s sweet and fun and wholesome.

And baby cakes three – because her food is yummy and her pictures gorgeous what more could one ask for?

Lemon Gloria – because she’s funny, and real, oh and funny. Trust me.

Mother’s always right – because her baby is really cute, plus apparently she won’t clap for mommy but will clap for everyone else so this woman needs us. Also, she occasionally tells naked stories involving hot firemen. Need I say more?

There are so many more blogs I love, but I had to cap it off at seven, so there ya have it. Oh, and don’t get used to this whole posting everyday thing, cause that’s so not going to continue!

Virtual Coffee {13}

Hello friends and welcome for coffee!

We have had some DREARY weather here the last week or so. It’s been raining and raining and then when it stopped raining, it rained some more with no end in sight. It even feels like it starts raining harder whenever I have to leave the house, as some sort of roundabout karmic message coming to me from the great beyond via the weather. A message I don't get, incidentally, so really just a load of wasted effort on the weather’s part if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m still here reeling from the dire predicament I’ve unexpectedly found myself in, you may read about it here (but the short version is the husband’s decided I need to go back to work. Sigh). Men. I swear, it’s like you’re finally getting your things in order, your kids start sleeping through the night (50% of the time), they’re both in daycare in the mornings, and you finally have five minutes to go to the gym or get a pedicure or file away three years worth of crap that’s been piling around, basically you’re finally starting to feel human again and bam a man shows up and slugs you from left field.

Can’t live with them… actually, that’s it, can’t live with them.

No, just kidding, but seriously, he’s so going to regret this decision, you mark my words! Give me a couple of months and he’ll beg me to return to the status quo, work from home, hang with the kids, make sure his life runs smoothly.

Now on to happier subjects: You may remember I mentioned that we were going to start renovating an apartment at the beach, well we started last week! So we’re very excited. It’s great for the husband’s mood as he has a fun project to work on and it’s exactly the kind of thing that I think will really help his recovery, which incidentally is going quite well so far. 

And I’m having fun daydreaming with the Ikea catalogue. In fact, tomorrow I’m off to Ikea to plan the kitchen, so that should be fun (and should also be counted as work, since I have to drive an hour and a half there and back and the apartment is technically the husband’s, don’t you think?).

I’ll start posting before pictures to document the work in progress just as soon as I get over my fear (or laziness) regarding all things photography, it’ll be fun to document this for posterity and also so you can all see how S      L      O     W     ,yet precise, Italian workers are.

I’ll leave you with a picture of the view from the apartment; I look at it often and daydream about next summer.

Yes, next summer. Because although we’re barely at the beginning of June and they’ve already torn down all the walls that needed tearing down and put up all the walls that needed putting up and they pulled up all the floors and ordered all the doors and windows, the apartment won’t be ready until the end of September. September. So though we will start enjoying our seaside weekends this autumn we won’t be able to dip our toes in that gorgeous blue water for another year. And it’s not like we’re renovating Buckinham Palace, it’s a 120sq. meter apartment. I’m baffled by their timeline. But worry not, the mystery will unfold over the next few months and I’ll share with you all the intricate workings of the Italian construction business.

For now, toodles! (and go say hi to Amy!)

What just happened here?

This is a story about how I got screwed the other day, and not in a good way.

So, the husband comes home a few days ago and says: “Isn’t it about time you went back to work?”, and I was like: “Huh?”, and he said: “Because I really think that two and a half years maternity leave is long enough, don’t you? I really need you to go back to work”, and I was all like : “whff fe hlll arya tathing abut?” (mouth was full), and him: “ok, so I need you to start coming in two days a week starting next week and we’ll go from there” and he left and I was left staring after him with a what-the-fuck expression on my face.

You see this is what happens when your husband’s your ex boss. After the boy was born and I went straight back to work but then a year later decided I was no masochist and we didn’t actually need my ridiculous income, I went to my boss-husband and told him I was quitting, I really wanted to be home with the Boy and plus I was pregnant again anyway so I was just going to do the mother thing for a while, and by “for awhile” what I actually meant was “indefinitely”, and he agreed, as long as I kept doing some things from home. Evidently, the husband agreed, the boss did not.

So now, completely out of the blue I’m going to have to go into work two days a week. I realize many of you would kill to be able to work only two days a week, but let me just say that the alternative was not working at all (or very little), so you see how this kind of sucks for me, right? Also, my job, it’s not the kind you can successfully do for only two days a week long term, soon enough it turns into three, then four, then six days a week. I’m just not motivated right now to put all my energy into working. I want to be with the kiddos, and I want to go exercise and grocery shopping in the morning and I want to occasionally have coffee with my friends. Whereas here I am, trying to figure out which two days I can give up without messing with my schedule too much, now that I finally have a schedule down. And all the while the prevailing feeling is one of having been screwed, by my own husband, out of left field.

So basically, I’m just going to have to get pregnant again or something.


Decided to link up here, with this because it just so happens that I had a WTF moment this week, and I think it's a fun idea... especially considering how many WTF I have on a regular basis.

Grammatical Pet Peeves (2)

I wrote the first installment of grammatical pet peeves a few months ago and then I let the wind out of my sails a little bit cause I feared I was turning into one of those smarmy know-it-alls that has to teach the world what’s best, which I’m so not. I don’t care what the world does as long as it doesn’t affect my own personal liberty. Not to say that I’m a total societal nihilist, I mean I do care about a broad range of subjects but I’m not the type of person that’s going to tell you how to behave, or raise your kids or what to believe in. Except, it appears, in regard to grammar. I have tried to hold my tongue, but I have a secret word file where I note all of my grammatical pet peeves, I apparently have no control over my actions. Since I don’t think it’s healthy to have “secret word files” regarding the usage of grammar and spelling I’ve decided to just come out and post my pet peeves occasionally. Think of it as a form of therapy.

I’ve found this one in more blogs than I can count and it gives me goose bumps every time I read it. Literal goose bumps. Yes, I know I’m weird. Initially I was amazed at the fact that I only found this in blogs or on social media sites like facebook or twitter and never in books and magazines, until I remembered that books and magazines have editors whose job it is to avoid just these pitfalls. (I wish I had that job!)

Anyway, my pet peeve today is “without further adieu”.

What you actually mean is “without further ado”.

Ado means a flurry, hubbub, fuss or bustle (google it!). It’s most famously used by Shakespeare: Much ado about nothing.

Adieu is French for goodbye.

The phrase “without further ado” basically means that you want to get to the point without additional talk or activity. As you can clearly see “adieu” (goodbye) has nothing to do with this.

I’ll leave it at that, I’m trying to be civilized and levelheaded so no outraged rants for me today. Let me just say though, that when we’re writing, the easiest thing we can do, if we have even the teeniest doubt about what we’re saying, is to google it. Seriously, just use google and you will know in an instant if you’re using the right word, expression or turn of phrase. It literally takes one second.

"Grammatical Pet Peeves" is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood neurotic blogger, please join us next week for the next installment (because there are many more to come).

Ten things I want to teach my children RIGHT NOW

As I mentioned in the previous post, I’m a little cranky lately due to being sick as a poor, mangy dog all weekend. Incidentally, I don’t get that expression, why “sick as a dog”, are they somehow inherently sicker than other animals? Anyway, since it’s the first of the month once again I’m going to give the meme another shot. If you feel like participating it’s open all week, just click on the linky at the bottom, add your post and if you feel like it add my button at the end of your post - just grab the code on the left side-bar (scroll down!). 

Ok. So, back to me being cranky, evidently it’s reflected in my choice of Ten Things to Teach my Children this week because I’m not so much looking to the future this time as listing things that I wish they’d learn RIGHT NOW.

Most of these are points I make daily, hoping that somehow they will learn them through the sheer force of repetition. It’s not working so far, but I’m hopeful – or deluded, one of the two. These are all meant for both my children, of course.

1. If Mama says she’s sick, don’t whine, get in her face, or make unreasonable demands because that’ll just make her crankier and you’ll get more timeouts.

2. It’s so much more productive to ask for stuff in a happy voice rather than a whiny voice, whiny voices grate on my ears and trigger the timeout reflex immediately.

3. I am not a referee. Am I wearing a whistle?

4. You don’t need to use up half the liquid soap every time you wash your hands, you’re not scrubbing in for surgery. (Although I do appreciate your newfound love for hand washing).

5. Nighttime is for sleeping, if you wake up during the night you turn around and go back to sleep. You don’t need me to help with that. You don’t need milk. You don’t need a diaper change. And if you want water it’s on your bedside table. You don’t need to call me at night. I can’t stress this enough.

6. Water guns outside are good, water guns inside the house are BAD.

7. Negotiating with me is fine until I give you THE LOOK, once I give you THE LOOK negotiations are over and action is in order.

8. The easiest and fastest way to get what you want is with a smile, a hug and a kiss. How hard is that?

9. We no longer watch tv while eating as I’m sick of feeding you because you’re in a Dora-induced trance-like state, you eat your food then you can go watch tv. Get over it.

10. When I scream at you for dumping a bowl-full of water out of the tub onto the bathroom floor and you do it again a minute later, I’m going to take the bowl away. It’s been like this for two years, why do you always look so surprised?

11. And a bonus bath related one that is a point of contention every night: Stop drinking the bath water, it’s dirty, it’s soapy and it’s very likely at least one of you peed in there.

Gosh, it felt good to get those off my chest! Now all I need to do is figure out how to actually teach them these things… NOW!

If you want to read more things I want to teach my kids you can do so here and here.

Thanks for linking up!

Virtual Coffee {12}

I almost didn’t write this Virtual Coffee post today because I’ve been sick for the past few days. I even had to rewrite this introductory sentence three times cause I just kept coming off as snippy. I’ve had tonsillitis and let me tell you, it has put me in a BAD MOOD. I’m still cranky today and it’s already day four of antibiotics and I’m starting to feel better, just to give you a measure of how much of a BAD MOOD I’ve been in.

I’m not a total wimp, I mean I gave birth naturally, no meds, and it totally didn’t put me off having more babies, so I do have some tolerance for pain and discomfort but there’s just something about throat ailments and colds that drives me over the effing edge. I’ve been really bitchy with my kids and with the husband, though not with the Nanny, cause heaven forbid I offend her and she decides to leave me. And for some reason I’m totally exhausted though I’ve been basically lying around since Saturday afternoon. Seriously I went downstairs, made coffee, drank it and am now lying in bed with my Mac typing more slowly than my 101-year-old grandma and wondering how I’ll ever make it downstairs to cook lunch later.

And you want to know what the worst thing is? It’s my own damn fault! Because last week I just had to write about how wonderful my life was, and how the sun was shining and birds chirping and all manner of la, la, la wonderfulness and THIS is how the universe gets back at me. I should know better, I really should. And no, I’m not being dramatic. You want proof, because I have proof. See among other things I wrote (and I quote): “the kids are inexplicably healthy” and the second I hit publish on that post, the Boy got a fever. A fever and no other symptoms (well apart from the general crankiness and neediness of having a fever) for four days, and then poof, it was gone. And then I got tonsillitis accompanied by exhaustion so profound that it makes typing a herculean feat and puts me in a BAD MOOD.

So the lesson here is to not brag, bragging is bad, humility is much better, it has no adverse consequence. The Universe likes humble people and not braggers. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to learn this in the past, but for some reason it just doesn’t stick.

This is a depressing coffee I’m offering today, apparently I’m still in a really BAD MOOD,  you should probably go visit Amy, she’ll cheer you right up.

Oh, and remember: bragging bad, humility good.

By the way… I’m doing my monthly meme “Things I want to teach my kids” tomorrow. If you’re interested just write a post with a list of things you want to teach your kids or that you feel your kids should know (I started out with ten, but write however many you want), and then link up (It’d be great if you put my button at the end of your post too, it’s over on your left ;-). It can be funny, or serious, or heartfelt, or angry… however you want, it’s for your kids! (Ok, maybe not angry.) For examples go here or here. Hope to see you tomorrow! Thanks


I'm linking up here today too, it's a great way to find new blogs!

Go the F@#k to sleep

I found out about this book thanks to this awesome blog and I have to tell ya, I’m definitely going to buy it. Apart from all the hype that it’s received from a rogue pdf copy that has been making the rounds of the ether (incidentally, I still haven’t managed to get my hands on it, now what does that tell you about my techiness or total lack thereof) and the insanity of its rise in amazon’s bestseller lists before it’s actually available for sale, have you looked at the title? 

I mean really, I’ve been screaming that same sentence in my head nightly for nigh on four years now, and finally, finally someone’s said it out loud. How liberating is that?

Virtual Coffee {11}

Good Morning and welcome to coffee. I don’t think I ever mentioned this but I drink mine with lots of sugar and a dash of cream, how bout you? I think it’s important to know how your friends drink their coffee. Of course, my memory being what it is it took me about six months before I started remembering that one of my good friends, with whom I often have coffee, actually doesn’t drink coffee but tea. I really have no preference, I go through phases: tea, tea, tea then only decaf then only coffee the only think I absolutely can’t abide is tea with milk, ugh. But, ever the gracious hostess, I don’t mind if you like it.

I haven’t got an awful lot of news today, the past few days have been pretty relaxed, the kids are inexplicably healthy, they’re happily going to daycare in the mornings and the husband is getting his energy back. I can’t complain, in fact I’m the opposite of complaining right now (a state so unfamiliar to me, I don’t even know what to call it). I’ve even managed to finish the Girl’s baby book, and I’m printing pictures for the Boy’s baby book (yes, he’s three, did you not read the post about how I like to procrastinate?), I even dusted off the treadmill and went for a run today. You can stop laughing now. I do, occasionally (ok, rarely) dust, and though I didn’t actually run per say, I did do that run a minute walk a minute to catch my breath then run another minute thing that allows me to feel virtuous and not drop down dead from lack of oxygen, for a whole 35 minutes. Impressed?

The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting (hee, hee), there’s a slight breeze, so life is good. And I’ll shut up now, because after all this la-dee-da positivism I’m expecting an anvil to fall from the sky onto my mac any minute now.

The past few days I’ve been reading the archives of a blog I think is insanely good, I’m sure most of you know it: Uppercase woman, Cecily is an insanely awesome writer, she’s very honest and has a way with words, of course I’m stuck in 2005 so can’t vouch for what she’s like right now, but it’s worth a peak. Do any of you do this? I often find a blog I like, even from just one post, and I start reading the archives, just to see where that person comes from. Most of the time I give them up, deflated, but sometimes I run into a blog that just makes me want to keep reading, a bit like a novel, and then I feel like I know the author. Of course, I always want to comment or write them an email saying “good for you”, or “I’m sorry such and such happened to you” but it would be too weird since I’m talking about stuff that happened years ago.

Do you do this? Or did I just confess to something that’s just not done in the blogosphere. I’m often iffy on the rules. Of course, I’m often iffy on the rules in life too, so I guess I’m just being consistent.

Ok, I’ve rambled on long enough; I actually enjoyed writing this post, just stream of consciousness (with punctuation, do I look like Will Faulkner??) no thought or planning. Well some thought, I mean who can write and not think, right? Ok, I’ll shut up now.


Now go visit our hostess Amy!

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Potty training for lazy parents

A while back I briefly mentioned that the Boy had potty trained himself and I’d be writing about it presently so, here I am writing about it now.

As may, or may not, be common knowledge, I am a first class procrastinator. Truly, I have elevated the practice of “why do it today when I can do it tomorrow” to a fine art, you only need see my desk to believe it. So true to form, though I knew I should get my three-year old potty trained, I just saw no reason to start immediately… and well, for once in my life procrastination actually paid off.

You see, many of my friends had been on my case cause my kid was still in diapers and I was bothered not one bit. He’ll have to go to preschool soon they’d say (they start at three here, and though it’s not mandatory the majority of children go), kids don’t potty train themselves, it’s your job, you need to get a move on… 

It got to the point that even I started feeling the pressure of just getting the job done.

So, a few weeks back I decided that as soon as the weather got warmer I would start the stupid potty training. I figured I could just leave him in shorts all day outside and he’d end up getting annoyed at constantly getting wet so he’d spontaneously learn to control himself. Yes, I’m all about minimizing costs and maximizing returns. I half-heartedly read a few books on the subject, I even got the boy a book for kids on potty training, and I must have mentioned to him in passing that we’d be taking the diapy off “soon” and he’d go pee-pee like a big boy in the potty.

He didn’t seem too interested and I was clearly unmotivated, but he’d be going to preschool in September and I had recently heard of a mother who six months into it still hadn’t gotten her kid to go consistently on the potty and that kind of scared me as I didn’t want the Boy to have to possibly endure a hard time at preschool due to his mother’s  character flaws.

And then, lo and behold, one morning the Boy just looks up at me as I’m dressing him and says: “no diapy today mama, I want Spiderman underwear” (in a mix of Italian and English, I’m simplifying for you). My initial reaction was, god no, it’s still kind of chilly out, I don’t want him to pee on the couch or the carpets. But then the mothering instinct took over (thankfully) and I thought, well I really can’t prevent him from foregoing the diaper if he really wants to, that would be bad. So after ascertaining that he was absolutely, positively sure he wanted to wear his Spiderman underwear and not the Lighting McQueen training diapers I had bought for just such an occasion, and making him go pee on the potty twice (he didn’t, apparently he simply didn’t need to) we left for daycare and that, my friends, was that.

Since that fateful day he has had a grand total of three accidents (none on the furniture I might add) and he now does all his business in the potty, with minimal assistance and prodding on my part. I basically limit myself to reminding him to go potty when we’re getting in the car cause I honestly want to avoid that whole possible mess and that’s the extent of my involvement.

It simply could not have been any easier, or frankly more surprising. Who would’ve thought that my chronic procrastination would’ve worked as a stimulus to my kid to hurry up and grow up already, all on his own.

And, the Girl, who is only eighteen months old, now always wants to use the potty when I change her diaper and half the time she’s perfectly dry and does all her business in the potty too. I mean really, could I possibly be doing any less work here?

All this to say, laziness in parenting is not always a problem, sometimes it’s a blessing and it could teach your children independence to boot. Definitely a win-win in my book!

p.s. he still wears diapers at night, I’m not a miracle worker!

p.p.s. I realize that now that I’ve written all this in a mildly self-congratulatory tone, something will happen to revert this entire situation and come September you’ll find me crying knee deep in diapers. But I guess that’s fodder for a whole ‘nother post on hubris.

p.p.p.s. I apologize for the overly enthusiastic use of italics in this post.