Grammatical Pet Peeves (2)

I wrote the first installment of grammatical pet peeves a few months ago and then I let the wind out of my sails a little bit cause I feared I was turning into one of those smarmy know-it-alls that has to teach the world what’s best, which I’m so not. I don’t care what the world does as long as it doesn’t affect my own personal liberty. Not to say that I’m a total societal nihilist, I mean I do care about a broad range of subjects but I’m not the type of person that’s going to tell you how to behave, or raise your kids or what to believe in. Except, it appears, in regard to grammar. I have tried to hold my tongue, but I have a secret word file where I note all of my grammatical pet peeves, I apparently have no control over my actions. Since I don’t think it’s healthy to have “secret word files” regarding the usage of grammar and spelling I’ve decided to just come out and post my pet peeves occasionally. Think of it as a form of therapy.

I’ve found this one in more blogs than I can count and it gives me goose bumps every time I read it. Literal goose bumps. Yes, I know I’m weird. Initially I was amazed at the fact that I only found this in blogs or on social media sites like facebook or twitter and never in books and magazines, until I remembered that books and magazines have editors whose job it is to avoid just these pitfalls. (I wish I had that job!)

Anyway, my pet peeve today is “without further adieu”.

What you actually mean is “without further ado”.

Ado means a flurry, hubbub, fuss or bustle (google it!). It’s most famously used by Shakespeare: Much ado about nothing.

Adieu is French for goodbye.

The phrase “without further ado” basically means that you want to get to the point without additional talk or activity. As you can clearly see “adieu” (goodbye) has nothing to do with this.

I’ll leave it at that, I’m trying to be civilized and levelheaded so no outraged rants for me today. Let me just say though, that when we’re writing, the easiest thing we can do, if we have even the teeniest doubt about what we’re saying, is to google it. Seriously, just use google and you will know in an instant if you’re using the right word, expression or turn of phrase. It literally takes one second.

"Grammatical Pet Peeves" is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood neurotic blogger, please join us next week for the next installment (because there are many more to come).

Grammatical Pet Peeves

Just in case you needed more proof of how neurotic I am, I decided to occasionally post on something that drives me completely bananas: Bad Grammar. Now, I concede that my own grammar is not always perfect, I’m a victim to run on sentences like the majority of Italian speakers, but I do know what a run on sentence is. Sure, sometimes I make mistakes too, who doesn’t? I could certainly proofread more, but I believe I do have the basics of grammar and spelling down. Incidentally, a great proofreading tip I got back in my translating days was to change the font, size and even color of the draft often while proofreading, it helps the eye catch mistakes.

So, back to grammar et al. most of the time I mis-grammaticize on purpose, and I make up words on purpose, I know what I’m doing is wrong and I do it for a reason, even though often that reason is apparent only to me. Mostly I do it because I want the writing on my blog to be more colloquial, more spontaneous. So what on earth am I going on about?
 There are mistakes being made all over the ether that are neither justified nor voluntary, they are quite simply the result of bad grammar and laziness. And that’s what drives me nuts. (fragment) So occasionally I’ll post on one such error that particularly irritates me, thus exorcising it, so it no longer bothers me. In this manner I’m hoping to achieve the zen-like calm that appeals to me yet eludes me completely.

Today’s pet peeve is: WOULD OF. What you actually meant to write is WOULD HAVE, in fact word just went all apeshit on me trying to correct it. What I’m talking about here is the third conditional and you use it when you want to talk about something that could have happened, but didn’t, in the past. For example: If I had won the lottery, I would HAVE left my job. (You can use the contraction would've)

In any case, there is no reason on God’s green earth to write “would of”. Ever. So don’t, just don’t.

Gosh, I feel so much better now!