Virtual Coffee {12}

I almost didn’t write this Virtual Coffee post today because I’ve been sick for the past few days. I even had to rewrite this introductory sentence three times cause I just kept coming off as snippy. I’ve had tonsillitis and let me tell you, it has put me in a BAD MOOD. I’m still cranky today and it’s already day four of antibiotics and I’m starting to feel better, just to give you a measure of how much of a BAD MOOD I’ve been in.

I’m not a total wimp, I mean I gave birth naturally, no meds, and it totally didn’t put me off having more babies, so I do have some tolerance for pain and discomfort but there’s just something about throat ailments and colds that drives me over the effing edge. I’ve been really bitchy with my kids and with the husband, though not with the Nanny, cause heaven forbid I offend her and she decides to leave me. And for some reason I’m totally exhausted though I’ve been basically lying around since Saturday afternoon. Seriously I went downstairs, made coffee, drank it and am now lying in bed with my Mac typing more slowly than my 101-year-old grandma and wondering how I’ll ever make it downstairs to cook lunch later.

And you want to know what the worst thing is? It’s my own damn fault! Because last week I just had to write about how wonderful my life was, and how the sun was shining and birds chirping and all manner of la, la, la wonderfulness and THIS is how the universe gets back at me. I should know better, I really should. And no, I’m not being dramatic. You want proof, because I have proof. See among other things I wrote (and I quote): “the kids are inexplicably healthy” and the second I hit publish on that post, the Boy got a fever. A fever and no other symptoms (well apart from the general crankiness and neediness of having a fever) for four days, and then poof, it was gone. And then I got tonsillitis accompanied by exhaustion so profound that it makes typing a herculean feat and puts me in a BAD MOOD.

So the lesson here is to not brag, bragging is bad, humility is much better, it has no adverse consequence. The Universe likes humble people and not braggers. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to learn this in the past, but for some reason it just doesn’t stick.

This is a depressing coffee I’m offering today, apparently I’m still in a really BAD MOOD,  you should probably go visit Amy, she’ll cheer you right up.

Oh, and remember: bragging bad, humility good.

By the way… I’m doing my monthly meme “Things I want to teach my kids” tomorrow. If you’re interested just write a post with a list of things you want to teach your kids or that you feel your kids should know (I started out with ten, but write however many you want), and then link up (It’d be great if you put my button at the end of your post too, it’s over on your left ;-). It can be funny, or serious, or heartfelt, or angry… however you want, it’s for your kids! (Ok, maybe not angry.) For examples go here or here. Hope to see you tomorrow! Thanks


I'm linking up here today too, it's a great way to find new blogs!

Potty training for lazy parents

A while back I briefly mentioned that the Boy had potty trained himself and I’d be writing about it presently so, here I am writing about it now.

As may, or may not, be common knowledge, I am a first class procrastinator. Truly, I have elevated the practice of “why do it today when I can do it tomorrow” to a fine art, you only need see my desk to believe it. So true to form, though I knew I should get my three-year old potty trained, I just saw no reason to start immediately… and well, for once in my life procrastination actually paid off.

You see, many of my friends had been on my case cause my kid was still in diapers and I was bothered not one bit. He’ll have to go to preschool soon they’d say (they start at three here, and though it’s not mandatory the majority of children go), kids don’t potty train themselves, it’s your job, you need to get a move on… 

It got to the point that even I started feeling the pressure of just getting the job done.

So, a few weeks back I decided that as soon as the weather got warmer I would start the stupid potty training. I figured I could just leave him in shorts all day outside and he’d end up getting annoyed at constantly getting wet so he’d spontaneously learn to control himself. Yes, I’m all about minimizing costs and maximizing returns. I half-heartedly read a few books on the subject, I even got the boy a book for kids on potty training, and I must have mentioned to him in passing that we’d be taking the diapy off “soon” and he’d go pee-pee like a big boy in the potty.

He didn’t seem too interested and I was clearly unmotivated, but he’d be going to preschool in September and I had recently heard of a mother who six months into it still hadn’t gotten her kid to go consistently on the potty and that kind of scared me as I didn’t want the Boy to have to possibly endure a hard time at preschool due to his mother’s  character flaws.

And then, lo and behold, one morning the Boy just looks up at me as I’m dressing him and says: “no diapy today mama, I want Spiderman underwear” (in a mix of Italian and English, I’m simplifying for you). My initial reaction was, god no, it’s still kind of chilly out, I don’t want him to pee on the couch or the carpets. But then the mothering instinct took over (thankfully) and I thought, well I really can’t prevent him from foregoing the diaper if he really wants to, that would be bad. So after ascertaining that he was absolutely, positively sure he wanted to wear his Spiderman underwear and not the Lighting McQueen training diapers I had bought for just such an occasion, and making him go pee on the potty twice (he didn’t, apparently he simply didn’t need to) we left for daycare and that, my friends, was that.

Since that fateful day he has had a grand total of three accidents (none on the furniture I might add) and he now does all his business in the potty, with minimal assistance and prodding on my part. I basically limit myself to reminding him to go potty when we’re getting in the car cause I honestly want to avoid that whole possible mess and that’s the extent of my involvement.

It simply could not have been any easier, or frankly more surprising. Who would’ve thought that my chronic procrastination would’ve worked as a stimulus to my kid to hurry up and grow up already, all on his own.

And, the Girl, who is only eighteen months old, now always wants to use the potty when I change her diaper and half the time she’s perfectly dry and does all her business in the potty too. I mean really, could I possibly be doing any less work here?

All this to say, laziness in parenting is not always a problem, sometimes it’s a blessing and it could teach your children independence to boot. Definitely a win-win in my book!

p.s. he still wears diapers at night, I’m not a miracle worker!

p.p.s. I realize that now that I’ve written all this in a mildly self-congratulatory tone, something will happen to revert this entire situation and come September you’ll find me crying knee deep in diapers. But I guess that’s fodder for a whole ‘nother post on hubris.

p.p.p.s. I apologize for the overly enthusiastic use of italics in this post.

Update to the post where I defy the universe

A few days ago I wrote a smug (and mildly smart ass) post on how I had finished all my Christmas shopping and how I was going to sit back and laugh at all the poor morons doing their last minute Christmas shopping in the craziness of the last few days, with the crowds and no selection blah, blah, blah. Thirty seconds later, when I realized how stupid and dangerous it was to thus defy the gods, I posted again, in a mildly repentant, trying to be amusing tone about how one shouldn’t defy the universe, yada, yada, ha, ha. Well, this post is for all of you who aren’t even a little superstitious (i.e. people who haven’t met my mother). You see, right after this whole little posting diarrhea I went through the other day I realized that the locked closet full of presents I had painstakingly accumulated wasn’t even scratching the surface of all the presents I was supposed to buy. So I spent the last few days, recompiling lists of gifts to get, running around like a crazy person trying to get them all, shaking my fists at the heavens when I realize that the genius idea for a present I just had for so and so was the same idea everyone else had too, so the hell am I going to be able to find that article before Easter much less Christmas, and generally doing all the things I had vowed I wasn’t going to be doing this year. So basically, if I may give you a few words of advice it would be to try to keep the smugness to a minimum during the holidays because karma is a bitch and she ain’t afraid to show it. Oh and by the way, I forgot all about a little thing called Christmas cards this year too… so please don’t expect one from me, I’ll send you two next year!

Stuff that drives me nuts

When I realize a second after I posted something that it was just a blatant invitation for everything to go wrong and so when my carefully thought out plans for the week decide to come crashing down around me in a cacophony of chaos, anger, frustration and possibly tantrums I have no one to blame but myself. So for those (two) of you who don’t end up getting their Christmas presents this year because the universe decides to teach me and my big mouth a lesson, sorry!

Stuff that amazes me

That it’s December 12^th and I’ve managed to get most of my Christmas shopping done. It is a turn of events so rare that I’m worried what the repercussions will be on a cosmic level. I am reeling from disbelief. Seriously, the kids are set for X-mas from parents and Santa and for the Epiphany (Jan 6^th), which in Italy is a holiday where an ugly witch (the Befana) puts coal or candy (and at my house some small presents) in a stocking for kids depending on whether they were good or bad. When I was little I loved being “bad” because we got this thoroughly yummy fake coal candy. If we hadn’t had the Worst Christmas Of All Time last year (and yes, from now on December 2009 will be referred to by its official title or the acronym W.C.O.A.T.) I would fear some sort of karmic retribution. Instead, here I am gearing up to enjoy the last few days before Christmas with only a handful of presents to get and cookies to bake and then I can sit smugly on my high-horse and laugh at all those last minute shoppers.