Oh, the drama!

I’m emotionally drained. The Boy and I had a big fight tonight, words were said, food was mushed about, and feelings were hurt all around.

 I still don’t know where I messed up. We were having dinner, The Husband wasn’t home yet cause he had gone into work and lost track of time as usual. When he finally called me to tell me he was on his way home, The Boy started getting upset, I think he thought that The Husband was back in the hospital. I explained several times that he was on his way home. So The Boy eats his first dish of pasta and asks for another, halfway through the second dish he loses interest and asks for his binky. Ok, I think, I don’t like it when he leaves food, but he ate plenty and is tired so I won’t push it, and I get out his fruit. With his new tigger spoon (I got him a new Winnie the Pooh cutlery set). This is when things start spiraling out of control. He decides to eat his pureed fruit with his hands (basically sticking all his fingers in the pot and licking them). I tell him that’s not a great way to eat, to please pick up his spoon or I will ignore him until he does. And I turn and keep eating my dinner… The next time I turn around he’s scooped out half the fruit with his fingers and is spreading it all over his high chair tray. I flipped out. “What are you doing?” I scream. “Look at the mess, the waste”, “No, no!” all the while rushing around the kitchen getting a sponge, paper towels etc. And he looks at me and laughs. And then he reaches for the fruit pot again. So I smacked him upside the head (well, it was more of a tap). Knee jerk reaction. Of course he starts screaming and crying like I just killed him, so I say “That’s it, I’m not talking to you until you stop crying and eat your fruit”. Screaming escalates and is punctuated by pathetic whimpers of “Papai” (daddy). So now I feel horribly guilty, was he being a pain because he was worried The Husband wasn’t coming home? did I misread this whole thing? But I don’t want to give in, cause what if he’s just playing me…  So I let him off his highchair, but I’m still ignoring him, he hasn’t eaten his fruit, of course, and he goes off to the Nanny to tell her that he and I just had a fight, hee, hee. Then Daddy comes home and all is right in his world. Of course, I’m still ignoring him, but this phases him not one bit. I go upstairs with The Girl, to put her to bed, and I’m all upset cause The Boy doesn’t love me, plus he didn’t eat his fruit, and you better not treat me this way when you get older, The Girl.

Cut to later, The Girl’s sleeping, The Boy’s taking his bath with The Husband and I hear this conversation: “are you upset Mama’s mad at you?”, “no” a little later as The Husband is explaining how I was right and The Boy shouldn’t play with his food, cause Mama loves him and wants what’s best for him, and Mama’s always nice and pretty The Boy answers with “noooooo, Mama ugly”. And that’s when my heart breaks. Anyway, after his bath, The Husband brings him to say goodnight to me and asks him who he wants to put him to bed. “Mama”. And all is right In my world again.

So tonight I went through about 100 different emotions in this approximate order: happiness, surprise, anger, rage, guilt, sadness, self righteousness, heartbreak and elation.

And I wonder why. This is my conclusion,  I was worried cause The Husband wasn’t home yet and wasn’t answering his phone, so I was tense and when The Boy did a perfectly normal thing for a two year old I lost it and things escalated. All this to say that we, as parents, need to be so careful of what we do and say, and how we react, cause we can avoid most ridiculous situations if we’re just paying attention. Which tonight I clearly was not.

I posted on fb that The Boy and I had a fight tonight and words were said, and a friend asked if we were broken up. That’s kind of how it felt, we had a fight and broke up, then we talked to our friends who tried to convince us to get back together, then the whole ‘he said, she said’, and then we got back together. Basically, tonight I went back to High School for a while, and The Boy’s just two.

random stuff and a meltdown

We’ve had a busy couple of days, trying to get stuff done before The Husband has to go back in for round 3.

Sunday we just hung out at home, doing home improvement type jobs and playing with the kiddos. Monday we took The Girl back to the hospital for her follow up visit, we still don’t know what caused her rash, but she’s loads better now. We have to go back tomorrow for some blood tests for allergies so hopefully we’ll know more soon. The chief of peds authorized us not to get any more vaccinations until we figure out what caused this so we’re thankfully off the hook for now. It seems that it can’t be the vaccines that caused the rash  cause it started 6 days after she had them, and it does seem that nowadays we are really quick to jump to the conclusion that whatever happens is the vaccine’s fault, but I don’t want to take any risks while The Husband is in the hospital. It’s not like we’re going to be travelling anywhere anyway, so it really won’t make a difference right now whether she’s vaccinated or not. Tuesday it was The Husband’s turn to go back to the hospital for tests, and in the afternoon we took our first walk around Cuneo. We actually got out our double stroller which hadn’t been used since the beginning of December (due to the subarctic temperatures – it’s not like you can take a toddler and a newborn  out for a leisurely stroll when it’s -10°C!). We ran into our friends Crazy Connecticut Lady and her son Devil Boy and we even got an ice cream at Bar Corso, so The Husband was extra happy! Today we started out the day with a family wide adjustment. Our friend and chiropractor C came over and adjusted everyone, The Boy particularly  liked sticking his face in the hole in the massage table! Then we all took off for Lurisia where we had lunch with some coworkers. The Boy was in 7^th heaven cause our friend and gardener (though I should call him a plant artist) R was there. R doesn’t get to see his own grandkids too often so he’s “adopted” The Boy. Of course, The Boy became the HAPPIEST baby on the block when R took him to see the trucks loading up at the bottling plant. The Girl was very well behaved and smiled at everyone, though she really, vocally, let us know that she didn’t appreciate anyone holding her other than mom and dad…We’re thinking she has a good shot at becoming an opera singer, considering the lungs she’s got on her!!

Since the day had gone without a hitch, both kids had been complete angels and so on, we were totally due a meltdown… and we actually managed to run right into one with our own two hands…

We left Lurisia with both kids sleeping in the car, so we thought… why don’t we go and buy The Boy’s new high chair at this great store… that also sells toys… (you see where I’m going with this, right??) So we get there and The Boy wakes up, not in the best of moods, but still ok, we walk around, find the chairs and decide on one… everything is still going fine… so while The Girl and I look for a salesperson to go get us what we  need, The Boy and Daddy walk around the store. I do what I gotta do and go looking for The Boy and The Husband… I hear whining, but I’m not too worried, I find them… near the bikes… and then all hell breaks loose. The Boy wants to ride a bike, it’s not clear whether he wants us to buy it for him or if he just wants to ride it right there and then, but of course there are signs all over that say that kids need to stay the heck off the bikes. So what do we do, well, we switch kids, so I pick up The Boy and take him to pick out a car OR tool set to take home, he wants neither… and as I continue to refuse the bike and he continues to refuse the other options all of a sudden I’ve got a full blown screaming, hair pulling toddler tantrum on my hands. My first. At this point I grab the kid, switch back with The Husband and propel him and the screaming banshee out the shop door as The Girl and I “sedately” get in line to pay for our purchases. Of course the whole time The Boy is screaming ay, ay ay like he’s in pain, the volume of the screaming probably had the entire store thinking we had broken one of his limbs or something. Of course the screaming continued in the car (he managed to get out of the carseat restraints….) and almost all the way home. The Girl, of course, started crying right along with him, we don’t know if she was irritated at the noise level or it was a show of sisterly solidarity. The Husband and I started laughing a little hysterically when we realized what the next few years are going to be like.

Of course, we have no one to blame but ourselves, and we learned a valuable life lesson: Never take a tired, cranky and hungry toddler to a toy store. You’d think that two relatively intelligent adults would’ve known this, you’d think… (notice how many times I’ve repeated “of course” throughout my description of the event, it really couldn’t have ended any other way!)