Sunday, November 13, 2011

I need bigger arms


I have two kids, one comfortable lap and two arms, sounds like that should be enough, shouldn’t it? Apparently, It is not. I need bigger arms. I’ve already mentioned the hell that is bedtime at our house; recently the situation has taken a significant downturn with the introduction of a new point of contention: my lap. Used to be that I would hold the girl for a while, sing to her, cuddle a bit while the boy hung out with daddy, brushed his teeth and did secret “man stuff” (I don’t know either, do they wrestle, have burping contests, lie there staring vacantly into space with their hands down their pants?) and then I’d put the girl down and hold the boy for awhile, sing, cuddle and whatnot.

Now for some reason everybody wants to sit in my lap together, like when they were teeny tiny, except now they’re quite large, and wiggly. So now at the tail end of the entire, exhausting, infuriating ritual we have an additional five minutes of pushing and shoving on my lap, of elbows in my ribcage, of heads banging against my shoulders, my chin, and occasionally my nose. Let me just say that it is in no way pleasant or comfortable for anyone involved, but for some reasons they need this further reassurance that I do, indeed, love them the same.

So I need bigger arms, à la elasto-girl, just until they realize that they don’t actually both fit in my arms at the same time and the previous way was better. Which should be any day now cause we all know how reasonable toddlers and preschoolers are, right?

8 comments:

  1. That is a problem we have too. And they should consider themselves lucky that they don't have a stick thin mother with a boney lap. ;o) These kiddos, they always find a reason to complain

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  2. The boys fight regularly about who gets to sit closest to me. It makes me insane. Luckily the big kids are no longer interested in sitting near me, they're 15...so just wait until then.

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  3. When you get your toddler to be reasonable, let me know the secret!!  I just have one and already he is too big for my lap, plus with all the wiggling I end up more beaten up than anything else.

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  4. at least the baby in your belly will already be used to fighting for space with his big brother!

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  5. oh ok, so only 12 more years.... aaaaahhhhh!

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  6. Lord! Yet again, the joy (ie, mixed bag) of parenting rears its head!
    Remind why the species keeps procreating again?!
    Long arm hugs, Alcira

    nerochronicles.com

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  7. Thankfully procreation is more instinctive than reasoned, otherwise we'd be extinct!

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