Wednesday, November 16, 2011

There, but for the grace of God


A few days ago I ran into a lady I know, and I found out that she recently lost her husband. Her husband had cancer, from asbestos. They diagnosed him last December, he passed in August. She’s doing what any of us would be doing in her place, she’s going to work, going about her daily activities, doing what needs to be done, she’s holding up, she’s… surviving…

But she’s devastated, she looks terrible, she’s aged, and her eyes are sad. Her eyes are vast pits of sadness, I could barely stand to look into them, such was the loneliness, the hopelessness, the unadulterated, boundless, inexplicable, all-encompassing despair.

Seeing her didn’t so much as take my breath away as it quite simply sucked it so violently out of my ribcage I wondered if I would ever breath again. I had no words, no comfort to give, nothing to offer that could possibly make her feel better, because, let’s be honest nothing will make her feel better for a really, really long time.

And all throughout this brief encounter, as I let her talk because talking about it seemed what she needed in that moment, as I looked at her, tried to show her support, tried to express something, anything that would show her I cared, a teeny voice whispered in my ear… “there, but for the grace of God, go I”.




Linking up today with Shell at Things I Can't Say

25 comments:

  1. You write so powerfully.  A very touching post.  I'm at a loss for words...  thanks for sharing so honestly.

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  2. You write what everybody in your shoes would have thought. But you, my dear, have the guts to say it out loud. And it doesn't mean you feel any less for her...

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  3. and thank you for reading, and commenting.

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  4. Brilliantly honest and written beautifully, as always.

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  5. This gave me the chills. It could easily happen to any of us.

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  6. Really beautiful. I felt like I was in that moment with you. Stopping by from Shell's Pour Your Heart Out.

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  7. Such a sad story.   So glad you were there for her.  Leigh

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  8. Having lost a child I can tell you it WILL get better for her, as it did for me.  But it takes time, time and more time.  

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  9. Such a sad story!  I'm glad you were there for her.

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  10. Oh, what a sad story.  I cannot even imagine!  You are so right.....

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  11. I am so sorry for your friend. I cannot imagine the depths of her pain.

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  12. How horrible. I've been close to a similar kind of devastation, and it definitely made me wonder why not me? So far. Thank GOD!! But why? Why were my friends randomly chosen to live through hell and me to merely witness it?

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  13. I know, my husband was diagnosed with leukemia, twice, and so when I hear cancer... well... it really could've been me. It still could. But not yet, not today. And that's enough for now.

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  14. thanks, I really think it's unimaginable.

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  15. loss is always terrible.

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  16. losing someone you love is truly terrible

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  17. I know, but as you well know when you're going through it... you just have to get through it, nothing anyone says matters. I'm sorry for your loss.

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  18. Thanks, and thanks for stopping by and commenting

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  19. Thanks! and thanks for commenting!

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  20. I never realized it, not until my husband got sick, and now it's all I can think of.

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  21. Thank you for your kind words.

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  22. Saying it out loud makes it less scary, I guess.

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  23. What a terrible situation!  I hope that you did give her comfort in that moment of time.

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  24. oh my gosh- i actually feel like i've stopped mid-breath...
    what an amazing post...i'm totally emotional at the moment with our huge move etc ahead- so tears are always so close to the surface these days- but this has just floored me...

    i wish i could just sit with you. make you tea and say it will all be alright- but i guess none of us can promise each other this so instead i'm just thinking of you....

    melissa {Miss Sew & So}
    xx

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  25. That's horrid. But I'm sure she was grateful for the moment of support. 

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