Happy Birthday, Darling Girl

Today you are two years old and every day that passes I’m starting to remember details from the first year of your life. Memories I thought I had lost forever, or rather, never acquired, from all the stress, heartache and craziness of your daddy’s illness. But now I’m starting to remember. Sometimes when I cradle you in my arms just so, and you look up at me, I remember your face when you used to nurse. You were so different as a baby, and yet it’s still you.

You’re only two years old, but you’re the most strong-willed little person I know. Things have to be just so, and yes, you always have an opinion about everything. You’re starting to become bossy. You tell all of us what to do, and you do it with your mean face, with your teeny index finger jabbing pointedly towards my face. You have no middle ground, if you hear “no” it’s the end of the world, you drop to the ground, face first, crying and yet two seconds later it’s all forgotten and you’ve found something else to get into.

You always wake up with a smile. It brightens even the most depressing day. And when you’re up, you’re UP! Your whole attitude to life is: why walk when I can hop, skip or run. I really hope that never changes.

You’re starting to use full sentences. I don’t always understand them, but when I don’t you repeat them till I get it, or you take me by the hand and show me, or you mime them, like the other day when you were reminiscing about the spew-fest you initiated the night before. You kept saying that you “vomit” but I didn’t understand, so you cried “mama!” exasperated and bent over at the waist and pretended to vomit. It was so realistic, and it was so clear that you were telling me to stop being such a dolt, that all I could do was laugh.

You love your brother so much, your sun rises and sets with him. This makes me so happy and I hope your relationship always stays like this, that you always have each other to count on.

You’re funny and sassy and you have  a fully developed sense of humor. I’ve learned to watch out when you come at me with a glint in your eye cause I’m going to get played.

You’re a big drama queen, when you need me you NNEEEEEEEDDDDD me, when you don’t want to do something you really won’t do it, and if you don’t like something you leave us in no doubt about it. It’s equal parts exhausting and funny.

You WILL NOT let me put your hair up, for love nor money, when I try to put it behind your ears so it’s not in your face you start shaking your head like a dog drying off until your hair’s all over the place again, cause that’s how you like it, damn it!

You’re so affectionate, you give me lots of kisses but never when I ask for them. You hug me tight, you hold my face in your little, sweaty hands and look deep in my eyes, you won’t go to sleep if I don’t hold you and rock you and you always want me to sing “You are my Sunshine”.

You love cheese and meat and pasta and chicken but you WILL NOT eat any vegetables unless they are artfully hidden.

You are so smart, you notice things I never would, you never miss a thing. We have to be careful what we say in front of you and I swear sometimes you understand even when I’m spelling stuff out.

You have no middle ground, it’s all black or white, you are not reasonable, you cannot be convinced. You make me crazy.  You want what you want when you want it. You have to have my whole, undivided attention. You’re so big already but you’re only two years old. Don’t grow up too fast, cause I can’t stand it.

I love you miles and miles, you are my sunshine, you make my heart sing.

Linking up today with Shell for Pour your heart out @Things I can't say and Wordful Wednesday @ Parenting by dummies