Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Virtual Coffee {15} and Anniversaries


Hello friends and welcome to coffee.
If we were really having coffee today I would explain why I haven’t posted anything on this blog for a week. A week. Crazy right? Last week was very busy.

On Wednesday I went to Rome for basically 36 hours. My mother is getting married in September (gasp! More on that soon). And I had to go down to Rome for a fitting of my dress for her wedding. Initially, we were supposed to make a family trip of it, but it never seemed like a good time, the husband’s not 100% yet, so we decided to forgo the whole me travelling alone with kids production and I just popped down overnight.
It was exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Physically because we live out in the middle of nowhere, so the closest airport is an hour and a half away (I realize that for many of you that is no time at all, but we used to live in Milan, where the farthest airport was a half hour away at most), so I had to get up at what amounted to the middle of the night to make my nine am flight. Of course the kiddos were upset, nervous, angry at my departure so they decided to take turns waking up and calling for me every half an hour until I left the house. Guess how much sleep I had that night… 
Incidentally, this is one of those thorns in my side regarding age, I mean, in my twenties I regularly forwent sleep for more fun and interesting things with nary a consequence, now, barely 10 years later (and I’m stating years here quite loosely) it takes me a week to get over one sleepless night.
Emotionally, because it was the first time I was leaving the kids behind and it was way harder than I thought. Let’s just emphasize “way harder” and leave it at that.

On Friday I basically attached both kids to my sides and we spent the morning in symbiotic bliss. In the afternoon I had to leave again to go to the beach and check out the renovation progress. Let me tell you, if the workers keep this pace up I’m going to have to officially apologize for all the mean things I’ve ever said and thought about Italian workers, because they are FAST. Which basically means we are now the ones hustling to get our end of the work done, choosing tiles and floors, deciding where we want the electrical outlets and stuff, and ordering furniture.

Saturday we had our annual medical convention at the Terme (where I work, more on that coming soon too), so I basically spent the day on my feet with a smile plastered on my disgruntled face, dodging problems like bullets. Thankfully the weekend picked right back up with the arrival of our good friends from Milan.
Yesterday, we had more visitors from Milan this time the husband’s uncle and cousin.

Basically, I just wrote a really long post of excuses for why I’ve been ignoring my blog. Mind blowing content, as usual!

Let me try and pick this post back up with the last bit of news, then. Today is our wedding anniversary! We made it to eight years by the skin of our teeth (a ridiculous expression if ever there was one). I’m dedicating an entire post to the husband tomorrow, but today let me just say this:

Marriage is harder than I ever thought possible. We’ve had wonderful, amazing times together as well as horrible moments I’d rather forget. We’ve done amazing things and regrettable things. We’ve whispered and screamed and shouted in glee. We’ve wanted to kill each other and sacrifice ourselves to save the other.  We’ve held on tight to each other and pushed away. We’ve loved and hated each other. We’ve been angry, felt guilty, ashamed and resentful, but we’ve also been happy, felt love, contentment and joy. But the most important thing, to me, is that we’re here, eight years on, together, fighting to keep this marriage alive and on track. For our children, for ourselves. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, is it?

Now go visit our hostess Amy!

p.s. I changed my comment format, I’m using disqus now. Feedback on how it works, if it loads quickly enough, if it’s easy to post comments, user-friendly etc. is very welcome. Basically, let me know what you think!!


  1. MyboysterouslifeJune 21, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    Oh wow, CONGRATS on eight years.  I don't know that I have ever read a more accurate description of marriage.  It isn't always wine and roses... there are lots of shit times.  But it is so worth muddling through, isn't it!  I am wishing you all the best.  And good luck with the new construction. 

  2. Look at that - I didn't even know you could use something other than blogger format for comments.  I'm glad I stopped by for coffee, I learned something new.  Congrats to your Mom, my mother is getting married sometime this summer (she may even elope at this stage).  And I echo everything you said about marriage.  Of course actually being married makes it harder to leave the relationship too.  I've been there, done that and not sure I would want to do it again.  But that's just me...

  3. OK, that was easy.  This is my follow up  on your new commenting procedure.  Smooth.

  4. Just one thing - when I left my second comment, it didn't "remember" me so I had to re-enter all the info.  Often when I'm leaving a comment for a second time on someone else's blog, as I start to fill in information, it will remember what I previously typed.

  5. Thanks! 
    Re. the construction, will be posting pics soon (as soon as I get my act together and start uploading!)

  6. Well, congrats to your mom too!

  7. I'll look into it, it's so much better not to have to re-type stuff ad infinitum.

  8. your thoughts on marriage are spot-on ... good insight.  wow, i hope the wedding stress winds down a bit -- that would be very draining.  glad you could post for coffee given all you are balancing ... always love to see how you are doing!

  9. Wow Disqus!!!!! I remember the first time I left the Minis. I cried all the way to the airport. And then my flight was cancelled and I stayed there as long as I could sipping a glass of wine before heading back home, but not before stopping off to get a pedicure...:-) Congrats on the anniversary!!!

  10. You sound like me...busy, busy, busy. UGH! Crazy right? Sometimes I just want to scream STOP at the top of my lungs. 

    Congrats on the anniversary. I think you summed up the "marriage philosophy" exactly. Nothing worth any value doesn't come without hard work. 

    Oh, and I can't wait to see pics of the reno, hope you will get to enjoy it before it gets too cold. 

    Have a wonderful week, and I wish you some quiet time.