Saturday, May 7, 2011

The ugly truth


Ok, I’m just going to come out and say it and propriety be damned, lately my kids irritate the hell out of me.

At bedtime, 9 times out of 10 I want to kill them and be done with it. The crying, the mommy come back, one more story, one more song, stay one more minute, I want milk, I want water, change my diaper… oh my GOD, SHUT UP!!! It never ends, it goes on for hours, and the sad, sad thing is that it’s my own stupid fault. I gave them an inch, and then another inch and then another and two and a half hours later when they’ve taken a mile out of my patience, my willingness to take care of them, to please them, to make them happy I scream at them and then feel guilty all night. It’s a horrible cycle, perpetrated by me, the adult, but how do I get out of it? I have to be firm, I know. I just seem to always take the easy way out, I’m compliant, I coddle them, I do what they want, until I snap and then I don’t and they’re probably wondering who the hell the crazy person is who looks like their mother.

The easy way out always ends up being the hard way out, doesn’t it? Sure it’s easier handing out cookies rather than fruit or yoghurt for snack but then I get hyped up kids for an hour, it’s easier letting them watch tv while we eat but then I find I’m feeding two kids who are perfectly capable of feeding themselves because they’re both completely zonked out watching Diego or Dora or our new fave Tractor Tom.

Will I ever learn? Or are my kids going to start referring to me as Lunatic Mom, kind of like a superhero, maybe? Or more likely a super villain.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how not to want to commit massive murder/suicide every night? Cause, really, apart from bedtime my kids are actually pretty good, and I’m not Insano-Mom.

Oh! Insano-Mom! I kind of like that, a cape-wearing, sword-wielding, bottle-bearing, diaper-changing, time-out-giving, often-screaming super villain type character. I’m off to draw my costume now.

13 comments:

  1. I am with you. Totally. I do a lot of deep breathing... :-) Being the "meany" in out family I have come up with clever "consequences” for one more anything:

    Me – “So remember, if you come out, play around or I even hear a peep, I will come in and take books and friends {stuffed animals}.”

    Daughter – “Peep like this ‘PEEP’?”

    Me – {In my serious voice, (on a good day trying not to smile)} “Yes, like that”

    I have only gotten down to taking the most beloved friend once. (She generally has enough for two interruptions…)

    It helps me feel in control at least...

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  2. I think given everything you have on your plate that it is OK to have let things slide in the "giving into kid department"

    I have done this once or twice (or maybe more...!?) over the years and have eventually had to stage a bit of a last stand to wrestle control back. I give them warning the night before and tell them from tomorrow this is how things will go... Then I do it. Like the commenter above I used to confiscate toys for discretions (theirs not mine!) Now I send them to their rooms or ban TV.

    It is hard for a day or so but makes life easier and also makes everyone happier.

    Pick a day when you are feeling strong.

    As I said though - I think it is completely understandable you have got yourself into this situation - I would have too. You have so much to worry about and are having to do all the parenting on your own.

    Take care and I hope so much things are going well.

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  3. This is so understandable. Being the mother of a thoroughly strong-willed child who loves to push my buttons and test limits even on a good day, alas, I often find myself giving into shoveling food into his mouth in front of the tv or other such similarly base antics.
    However, because I'm generally exhausted by bedtime, I tend to draw the line when it comes to getting in bed, cutting the proverbial crap and piking down.
    That said, he's 5 and a half and I still have to lie down with him until he falls asleep.
    Grrrrr
    Good luck with whatever works, with this jungle warfare they call motherhood.
    Cheers and happy mother's day, Alcira

    nerochronicles.com

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  4. I have no advice to offer as we're not there yet (baby's only ten months) but I imagine you're right with the whole "easy way out is the hard way" notion. I'll be back to ask for advice when my baby's a toddler and I'm climbing the walls! x

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  5. @strugglingforeverafterah, feeling in control, now that went out the window for me with kids.

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  6. @A Farmer's Wife I know, I have to be strong... I'm off to search for my backbone, I'm sure I have one somewhere!

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  7. @Alcira Molina-Ali I certainly hope somehting works... sooner or later... I just hate yelling at them, which is how I got into this mess in the first place.

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  8. @mothersalwaysright I'm not sure I'll have much advice but you can certainly try to avoid my mistakes!! BTW, your ten month old is a cutie pie!

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  9. It happens! Why do kids get impossible when you are ultra tired? Gosh, being a mama is so difficult sometimes... XoXo

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  10. Don't ask me. Signed Psycho Mom (my cape is gold, what color is yours?

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  11. cuz you have nothing else on your plate, all your energy should clearly be focused on this. It takes immense work to bite the bullet and lay down the law. And then stick to it. I hired someone. :-) x

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  12. I have no advice to offer as we're not there yet (baby's only ten months) but I imagine you're right with the whole "easy way out is the hard way" notion. I'll be back to ask for advice when my baby's a toddler and I'm climbing the walls! x

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  13. I am with you. Totally. I do a lot of deep breathing... :-) Being the "meany" in out family I have come up with clever "consequences” for one more anything:

    Me – “So remember, if you come out, play around or I even hear a peep, I will come in and take books and friends {stuffed animals}.”

    Daughter – “Peep like this ‘PEEP’?”

    Me – {In my serious voice, (on a good day trying not to smile)} “Yes, like that”

    I have only gotten down to taking the most beloved friend once. (She generally has enough for two interruptions…)

    It helps me feel in control at least...

    ReplyDelete