Friday, November 19, 2010

This life

Today we went to Milan for a few hours, actually we probably spent more time in the car driving there and back than in the actual city. (240km or about 2 hours each way, though we got stuck in traffic around Torino so it was significantly longer – though that’s neither here nor there). We hadn’t been back for over a year (for obvious reasons) and this time we drove through our old neighborhood to get to our appointment. It was surreal. Things had changed, but they were exactly the same. We spent the whole (ten minute) drive going: oh look, our favorite Japanese, oooh a new store there, look, didn’t we see an apartment in this building, and that one, and that other one? (we saw a lot of apartments in Milan over 3 plus years, but somehow never managed to buy anything). It was sad and familiar and nostalgic and strange, thinking of this other life we lived, in a big bustling metropolis, with no kids, in a tiny apartment, going to the gym at 7am before work, taking the subway, never having allergies cause there’s not enough plant-life to make me allergic. And we looked at each other and wondered, would we go back? Moving to Cuneo was hard, we left friends, a life, a city we loved and moved out in the middle of nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, we made more friends, Cuneo is cute and now that we have kids it’s much, much easier than a big city; but we liked Milan, we liked having options, restaurants, bars, stores, entertainment, loads of things to do. Also, we moved to Cuneo and left family, friends, my Dad died, Alex got sick, so when we think back we imagine ourselves young(er), healthy, safe, with fewer responsibilities.
But then I called home, to check in, and the boy “Mama, where you?” with the girl squealing in the background. And well, we realized our life is perfectly imperfect the way it is. Would I raise my kids in Milan? No. I like that they have a yard to play in, that the air here is clean, that you see middle schoolers walking home from school, alone, safe, that life is relatively uncomplicated; I don’t like that we have fewer options, fewer things to do, there’s no International school (which for me is a big deal), we’re often perceived as strange because we have different customs, we speak a foreign language, we have different views and opinions. But, no place is perfect. You make the best of what you have, right? We still love Milan, and we are happy to go back, occasionally, and be nostalgic for the life that was, but then we get home to big smiles and little arms and “Mama miss you” and we realize that this life, this life that we’re living right now, is perfect for us.
Us in front of one of our old haunts Bar Magenta
Sandwiches at Panino Giusto, Perfection!

Me and the best Tiramisu in the world (though I look like I'm feeling ill, I was actually laughing)


6 comments:

  1. Gosh Moomser, just when I think you've outdone yourself, you throw another one of these pearls out for the world.
    What beauty, what love...real life is nothing like and so much more than anything we could dream up.
    Nostalgia is hard, growing older -- though just a little -- more so. But isn't it a relief to think that we wouldn't have it any other way? And how nice that you and the hubby embarked on this little existential outing/pilgrimage together and alone, making the homecoming all the warmer.
    Touching, really...you dear Moomser, are a walking, beating, breathing heart.
    Alcira

    thenerochronicles.blogspot.com

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  2. So glad you had a wonderful day. How wonderful to revisit a place that means so much to you and your husband while realizing at the same time that you are exactly where you should be with your family. Lovely post.

    And...yum..tiramisu.

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  3. It was nice just knowing you were here, even if we didn't get to see each other. I love the first picture of you and husband. His eyes are really smiling...

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  4. You made me drop a little tear.
    Thanks for sharing this.
    Really.

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  5. @Alessandra, what, no paninogiustò in la gaie paris? ;-)

    @Nuts, hopefully next time we will actually get to see each other too!

    @Melissa, I'm in the process of trying to recreate that truly amazing tiramisu, so lookout for a post soon!

    @Nero, just wait till I make it back to Houston for a visit, this blog will probably turn into a month long tear fest of nostalgia!

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  6. You made me drop a little tear.
    Thanks for sharing this.
    Really.

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