Sunday, January 31, 2010

Day to day part 1

The Husband is going back into the hospital tomorrow, and I spent the whole day looking at the clock and counting down…. It’s been a nice, long day, we spent some good, quality time together but at the same time it seems like it just flew by(yes, I really like adjectives today). The Girl and The Boy let us sleep in this morning, which was a really nice change, we had a leisurely breakfast and then I got The Husband to do some home improvement jobs he usually takes care of - we finally reprogrammed the heating for each floor so we’re not either freezing or boiling depending on the time of day, he rewired a lamp that was fixing to electrocute us all to death, he reorganized all the wiring behind the tv so it’s all neat and orderly now, he changed a couple of lamps, and cleaned all our computers (with a little brush for the keys, a special cloth and spray for the screen and god knows what else) so we’re all set now – the only job he left undone was oiling our extremely squeaky bedroom door, but I got a set of very detailed instructions I’m going to be following to the letter tomorrow (lest some great evil befall me). We played with the kids and then read and relaxed while they napped. After naptime my in laws arrived and the bantering started, thank goodness The Boy is there to distract everybody! The Husband’s brother Uncle F came over for dinner and then it was time for the whole bath and bedtime brouhaha. The Husband is now putting The Boy to sleep and I’m taking stock of our day. It’s a really strange feeling, knowing he’s leaving tomorrow (ok, sorry, but I’m listening to them on the baby monitor and The Boy is trying to get Daddy to play peek-a-boo and daddy is yawning loudly and exclaiming how sleepy he, Leo the Lion, Nonna, Nonno, The Girl and Mommy are) so, knowing he’s leaving tomorrow and we won’t see him for a whole month (of course, I’ll see him, but he won’t be part of our daily lives), and I know it’ll end soon, a month goes by pretty quickly, last month did, but at the same time it’s depressing to think that I’m going to be doing everything by myself. I’m not talking just about the practical stuff, I’m very lucky to have the Nanny to take care of the house cleaning and clothes washing and babysitting when I go grocery shopping or to the hospital, but just having to run the household on my own, all the decisions are up to me, kind of like being a single parent (albeit one with a lot of household help) but I decide what we eat and if The Boy goes to daycare, I decide on discipline, and on how to handle the unexpected, and if I forget the milk well, I either get my rear end back in the car and go get it or go without, I’m also the only one around to see the really cute new thing The Boy or The Girl did today… I realize I’m talking about ridiculous little everyday occurrences, but it’s the feeling of nobody having my back, like if I bust a tire on my way home at night, I can’t call The Husband to pick me up (and change the tire, of course…). It’s a little disconcerting. Of course, I had a life before The Husband in which I lived alone, paid the bills on my own and was solely responsible for myself, but I was used to it then, I’m no longer used to it now… for the past ten years I haven’t had to change a tire…. now I do and on top of it I’m responsible for two little people. It’s pretty scary, at least to me, and it’s pretty lonely, but, hey, it’s temporary. Let’s just say it’s helped me REALLY appreciate having him around. So this isn’t a “poor, lonely, little me” post, more like a post about how being married makes two people completely codependent (no negative undertones) on one another. In a marriage, in a family everyone has a role and when one person is missing it brings the whole family out of balance.
Ok, all done with today’s thoughts, just going to leave you as promised with a reason why we’re so lucky for today: we are very lucky to have the Nonni (grandparents) who come play with The Boy and The Girl every afternoon so Mommy can go out and get stuff done and see Daddy or just have a quiet moment to think her thoughts. (And we’re sad that they’re leaving for a few days tomorrow!)


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