Birthday Boy

After a week-long silence I’m finally back online. What’s kept me away? Why, thanks for asking! Last Friday was The Boy’s second birthday and I spent almost all week preparing (which begs the question of what on earth I’m going to do for, say, his communion or 18^th birthday, seeing as it took a week to get ready just for his second birthday!) . Anyway, I managed to send out the invitations for his party a whopping ten days before the big event, but of course the Italian postal system being what it is his friends have yet to receive them… thankfully I got some sort of divine illumination and decided to send out text messages to everyone, just in case… The party was supposed to be train themed as we’re going through a Thomas the tank engine phase right now, so I went online, found (shockingly), ordered and received (even more shocking) a train cake pan, made and decorated a practice cake and, moderately satisfied with the results, went about the business of finding the rest of the party items in a train theme. HA! There was nary a train plate, cup or napkin to be found, nor was there any sort of small, (affordable) trains to put in the goody bags, no train décor whatsoever, in fact. So after a week of searching for what I thought would  be a pretty easy theme for a party (boys like trains, right? And we live in a country where trains are as common as buses in public use, so what the hey!!) I gave up and the theme was no theme at all, but the train cake was totally awesome, if I do say so myself!!! We had a small birthday party Friday afternoon with just the family so The Boy had a happy couple of hours opening presents and playing with his cousin R. Of course, him being two and right smack in the middle of the contrary toddler phase, we were not allowed to wish him a happy birthday (all of our attempts were met with a scream of noooooo!) Though when we sang Happy Birthday (too many of us, he couldn’t stop us!) he got all teary eyed and flustered and wanted to leave. Daddy participated online (thank goodness for webcams) and overall it was a good birthday. Saturday was a very exciting day, the Bears came over all the way from Milan, we had lunch together and the kiddos played a little bit, then in the afternoon we had The Boy’s  “train” party at his daycare. Unfortunately, a few kids cancelled at the last minute cause of a variety of bugs still going around (another reason to move somewhere warmer - I’m compiling a list!) but we had fun, which at this age means everyone played reasonably well together, there were no major meltdowns, no one got hurt, and they all ate at least something moderately healthy before cake.

From scratch

Ok, I’m watching the first episode of Flash Forward and it’s FREAKY! I don’t know if I like it yet, but it’s definitely intriguing (plus, Joseph Fiennes…). Getting back to us, I had a very happy Valentine’s day. My wonderful husband managed to send me flowers even though he’s in the hospital, The Boy and I made a beautiful card for Daddy and most importantly I got to see The Husband after 8 days of being sick and then tending to sick kids! We had a lot to talk about, which is weird cause we talk about 8 times a day, but somehow in person you remember so much more. 

We’ve received news of several good friends expecting babies and one just had a baby plus The Boy is in a very mommy-centric moment right now and The Girl is starting to interact more, smiling and laughing at me, following my voice around and stuff so all this has made me start thinking of the relationship between mothers and their kids. What amazes me most is the sheer strength of my feelings towards these little people. It almost seems unbelievable to me that other mothers love their children as much as I love mine, and that their kids do the same amazing things mine do… rationally I know it’s true, but I guess that in our heart of hearts we all think OUR kids are a little bit more amazing than others. I look at them and think, I MADE them, I actually made them from scratch… and I’m responsible for them, right now I’m responsible for their whole entire world, and I’m the most important person in their lives. Isn’t that just AMAZING??

 I realize that these thoughts seem obvious but if you sit there and actually think about it it’s actually a little mind-boggling. So, I want some feedback, what do y’all think?

Back to our more mundane news, The Husband is doing ok, he could definitely be better (though, if we’re wishful thinking then he could definitely be completely healthy..) but he’s hanging in there and being very strong and concentrating on the fact that in a few days he’ll start feeling better.
I talked to one of his docs today and got a better idea of the timeframe for the transplant, which should happen at the end of march after 3 days of radiation therapy and 3 more days of chemo and the recovery time seems to be between 6 to 12 months for a full recovery. But, he cautioned me not to think too far ahead, so right now we are concentrating on getting him through the effects of the chemo he just did, and getting him to produce good, healthy white blood cells (which didn’t happen after the first round last month) and of course on the fact that he’s coming home for two weeks in march (YAY!!!). Though I must say that I’ve decided not to talk to his docs again unless it’s absolutely necessary cause the statistics, which they always end up bringing out, are a little bleak – but then again we’re talking statistics here so the whole concept is a little bleak! (I apologize to all you math minded people out there, but seriously, statistics are never fun!)

Anyway, we’re staying positive and only thinking of what to do with our time together in march!

Snow and stuff

So, things are definitely looking up today…  sun is shining, The Boy has moved on from constant vomiting to diarrhea (which basically means that I only have to change his clothes every hour or so rather than both his AND mine, a definite improvement!), R came over unexpectedly this morning and shoveled all the snow from our drive and from the cars and I’m still not sick (though will now start worrying that I have jinxed it…). The only sour note is that the poor Girl is sick now too, though I must say this for babies vs toddlers, it is soooo much easier to give her medicine than the Boy and (I realize this may fall in the TMI category) she’s so used to spitting up that when she vomits its really no big deal she just goes right back to being smiley. I’m also really happy cause I managed to find and order a train shaped cake pan (not an easy feat here in Italy) as well as train invites so The Boy’s birthday party is well on the way to being organized. It remains to be seen whether I will manage to decorate the train shaped cake and get it to his daycare (where we’re having the party) all in one piece and most importantly whether I will manage to get the birthday boy to the party venue on time and in a good mood, but for now I’m cautiously optimistic... We’re looking forward to Nana’s (my Mom) arrival next week, and I’ve already got an email ready in my drafts folder with all the things I need from Houston! Poor Nana, between her daughter, two grandkids, and a son in law who loves American stuff, she has to bring a suitcase just for us!

On the hospital front, The Husband is still doing well, he actually had a 3 hour video conference with his sales team today so he’s definitely doing better than expected! In fact, this video conference thing may well become a permanent way to interact with the sales guys  cause apparently he finds it a lot easier to get them to shut up and listen!

Ok, well, The Girl’s waking up so my free time is over. Today’s reason why we’re so lucky…. Our good friend R, coming over to shovel our snow of course!!

Bugs, bugs, bugs

The health situation at home has gone from bad to worse, but thankfully my mood has improved… the last post was a little depressing, I admit! The Boy obviously caught my cold, so we spent several fun nights awake with him coughing, and then he segued directly into a lovely stomach flu, which has been no fun for any of us though I will spare you the details! We had our first watercolor experience which was a lot of fun, The Boy was really happy to see his biggest passions combined, color, water, making pretty pictures but most importantly making a right mess!! Today we tried playdoh but apparently it’s too soon for him, it wasn’t as exciting, though tomorrow we’re making Daddy a Valentine’s day card, all I can say for now is that scissors and glitter glue are involved so I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a winner…

The Husband is doing ok on this second round, today was the hardest day of the cycle but he’s holding up pretty well. We haven’t seen each other in a few days, but he sounds in good spirits over  the phone, though I can’t wait for The Boy to get better and for me to be sure that I didn’t catch his bug so I can go see him again. (I realize there are about ten grammatical errors in that sentence, but I’m sure you get the gist!) It’s been snowing all the live long day, we’ve had about a foot and a half already and I’ve decided not to complain about it or worry about the shoveling I’m going to be doing tomorrow so I can reach my car, I’m just concentrating on the wonderful holiday-like feeling of having a great excuse not to go outside. Also, the city is cooperating with me cause we’ve seen neither  hide nor hair of a snow plow this afternoon, I assume it’s because it’s snowing so much they’re having a hard time getting to the higher traffic areas done and have forgotten about our little residential area. Free time’s up, The Girl must eat….so as Tigger would say, ta ta for now!

Damn Cold

I’m sick, crap! I’ve got a stupid cold. I HATE colds, the headache, runny nose, itchy throat… I hate them. I realize it looks like I’m overreacting but seriously, having a cold means I can’t visit The Husband (dammit!) and that’s literally the best part of my day, plus for the next couple of days I’m going to be worrying that I was contagious yesterday and that I may have taken my germs over to his sterile room. Also, The Boy looks like he may have caught it too so that sucks doubly because he’s going to be feeling like crap, not sleeping and guess who is going to be up with him, feeling like crap too…. The silver lining (and I hope I’m not jinxing it) is that since The Girl is breastfed she may not get it. Thankfully The Husband is doing a little better, he seems to have enjoyed the soup I brought him for lunch and the lasagna for dinner  so at least that’s some good news. Oh, and miraculously, right now The Boy is being put to bed by The Nanny (I’m trying to limit the spreading of germs) and The Girl is sleeping (shock, disbelief, joy!) so I’m happily typing away with both hands (and that is a rare occurrence lately). I will now push my luck to the limit and turn on a tivoed episode of Desperate Housewives, which will probably result in her waking up screaming for food and The Boy refusing to fall asleep with anyone but me, but hey, I’m an optimist! So that’s all for tonight folks!

Day to day part 3

I haven’t managed to write in a few days, so I’ve got some catching up to do! Since round 1 didn’t get the job done this round of chemo was a lot stronger and has been a lot harder on The Husband.  This time around the cycle is 3 days of chemo, which he finished on Thursday, a 4 day break and then 3 more days of chemo next week. Poor Husband started feeling bad pretty much right away this time, nausea and his face became reddish (which actually made him look less sick, and more like he spent a day on the slopes!) he also had a lot of pain in his bones, he described it as having really bad flu symptoms. Thankfully today he’s better so we are all relieved! Though, honestly I am not looking forward to next week cause he’s probably going to feel even worst (I realize that possibly The Husband is looking even less forward to next week as he’s the one actually feeling sick, while I just feel bad for him…). On the home front, we’re busy planning The Boy’s 2^nd birthday party, which will probably be train themed as he’s really into Thomas the tank lately. Thursday The Husband’s aunt and uncle came to visit and The Boy had a great time showing them all of his toys. Yesterday was a very special day for me cause it was my Vovo’s 100^th birthday (my grandma). I’m really sad not to have been at her birthday celebration this year, my mom organized a big ole shin ding, with all our Brazilian family and friends. I’ll post some pics as soon as I get them. Of course we couldn’t tell her the real reason we weren’t going to make it, it would have made her too sad, but we did promise we would be there to celebrate her birthday next year so there’s a trip to Sao Paolo in our nearish future! I can’t wait to show Sao Paolo to The Husband who didn’t make it over with me and The Boy last year and of course to introduce The Girl to my grandma.

Today The Boy’s Nonni (grandparents) came back, so his afternoon entertainment is right back on schedule!  And, last piece of news, The Girl started laughing, which is really cute and entertaining for us.

That’s all for now, and today’s reason why we’re so lucky is that R (a really nice gentleman who we consider a friend and who is also our gardener during the summer) came over today, out of the goodness of his heart, to shovel the foot of snow that came down yesterday from our drive and my car. God bless him!

Day to day, part 2

Today life went back to the normal routine, The Boy went back to daycare (which we stopped two weeks ago so he wouldn’t get sick before The Husband came home) and I resumed my regular visits at the hospital. The Boy was very excited to go back “to school” and see his friends, but he was just as excited to come home apparently since he met me at the door in just his socks having chucked his slippers as soon as he heard the door and with his shoes in his hands (I pick him up right after lunch before naptime so it’s pretty predictable). I finally found a book for two year olds about the hospital, so tonight we read all about where Daddy is and what doctors and nurses do. (Hopefully this will help him deal with The Husband’s absence better). Also, last night The Girl took her bath with The Boy in the big tub for the first time, not that it was planned, I just realized after dinner that she hadn’t had a bath and I wasn’t going to be able to get one in until after The Boy fell asleep (since I now have to lie with him till he does, I’ll get into the whole nightmarish sleep situation soon) and who the heck wants to give a baby a bath at 10pm, so I figured two birds with one stone! That’s it for today, short but (hopefully) sweet. Oh, and today I feel lucky because now that The Husband is back in the hospital I get to spent two hours every day alone with him just chatting about random stuff, a rare occurrence when you are married with two small kids!

Day to day part 1

The Husband is going back into the hospital tomorrow, and I spent the whole day looking at the clock and counting down…. It’s been a nice, long day, we spent some good, quality time together but at the same time it seems like it just flew by(yes, I really like adjectives today). The Girl and The Boy let us sleep in this morning, which was a really nice change, we had a leisurely breakfast and then I got The Husband to do some home improvement jobs he usually takes care of - we finally reprogrammed the heating for each floor so we’re not either freezing or boiling depending on the time of day, he rewired a lamp that was fixing to electrocute us all to death, he reorganized all the wiring behind the tv so it’s all neat and orderly now, he changed a couple of lamps, and cleaned all our computers (with a little brush for the keys, a special cloth and spray for the screen and god knows what else) so we’re all set now – the only job he left undone was oiling our extremely squeaky bedroom door, but I got a set of very detailed instructions I’m going to be following to the letter tomorrow (lest some great evil befall me). We played with the kids and then read and relaxed while they napped. After naptime my in laws arrived and the bantering started, thank goodness The Boy is there to distract everybody! The Husband’s brother Uncle F came over for dinner and then it was time for the whole bath and bedtime brouhaha. The Husband is now putting The Boy to sleep and I’m taking stock of our day. It’s a really strange feeling, knowing he’s leaving tomorrow (ok, sorry, but I’m listening to them on the baby monitor and The Boy is trying to get Daddy to play peek-a-boo and daddy is yawning loudly and exclaiming how sleepy he, Leo the Lion, Nonna, Nonno, The Girl and Mommy are) so, knowing he’s leaving tomorrow and we won’t see him for a whole month (of course, I’ll see him, but he won’t be part of our daily lives), and I know it’ll end soon, a month goes by pretty quickly, last month did, but at the same time it’s depressing to think that I’m going to be doing everything by myself. I’m not talking just about the practical stuff, I’m very lucky to have the Nanny to take care of the house cleaning and clothes washing and babysitting when I go grocery shopping or to the hospital, but just having to run the household on my own, all the decisions are up to me, kind of like being a single parent (albeit one with a lot of household help) but I decide what we eat and if The Boy goes to daycare, I decide on discipline, and on how to handle the unexpected, and if I forget the milk well, I either get my rear end back in the car and go get it or go without, I’m also the only one around to see the really cute new thing The Boy or The Girl did today… I realize I’m talking about ridiculous little everyday occurrences, but it’s the feeling of nobody having my back, like if I bust a tire on my way home at night, I can’t call The Husband to pick me up (and change the tire, of course…). It’s a little disconcerting. Of course, I had a life before The Husband in which I lived alone, paid the bills on my own and was solely responsible for myself, but I was used to it then, I’m no longer used to it now… for the past ten years I haven’t had to change a tire…. now I do and on top of it I’m responsible for two little people. It’s pretty scary, at least to me, and it’s pretty lonely, but, hey, it’s temporary. Let’s just say it’s helped me REALLY appreciate having him around. So this isn’t a “poor, lonely, little me” post, more like a post about how being married makes two people completely codependent (no negative undertones) on one another. In a marriage, in a family everyone has a role and when one person is missing it brings the whole family out of balance.

Ok, all done with today’s thoughts, just going to leave you as promised with a reason why we’re so lucky for today: we are very lucky to have the Nonni (grandparents) who come play with The Boy and The Girl every afternoon so Mommy can go out and get stuff done and see Daddy or just have a quiet moment to think her thoughts. (And we’re sad that they’re leaving for a few days tomorrow!)

A little background

From our family blog. (only names removed) Originally Posted 01/30/2010 and transferred here 09/19/10.

Ok, since quite a few people have asked I've finally decided to get my act together and keep the everyday part of our blog updated… in English so for news in Italian go read The Husband in 18mq, for English it'll be me here. Obviously, I'll include some of what The Husband writes In his blog here and he'll include some of our news there, but really the only people who will know what is going on with any consistency are those that read both!!

The Husband's blog, from his 18 square meter room will obviously be more interesting than mine (well he does have A LOT more time to write than me!), mine will be a little more mundane… how the kids are, what's going on at the house… but I'll definitely be including information on how his treatment is progressing and how he's feeling.

Let's see… right now we're all home, The Husband included, so I'm just happy as a peach cobbler. You really don't appreciate the simple things, like the family all being together, until you've been forced apart. To give you an example, today The Husband drove me to Brico (kind of like home depot) and Euronics (an electronics store) he just drove me, couldn't go in cause he can't go to crowded places yet, but it was so nice just driving around with him, running errands, just the regular boring things we have to do every day; not doing them alone makes a huge difference! Or this morning sitting in the living room, The Husband reading, The Boy playing quietly with his new fire truck (ok, that's sort of a miracle in and of itself) while I was feeding The Girl.

So my thoughts today, as I take a minute to take stock of my life, is that we are exceptionally lucky people. I'm sitting on the couch with my pc, The Boy is on the floor in front of me making an epic mess with all of his toys playing with his Nonna (The Husband's mom), The Husband is upstairs having a therapy session with one of our neighbors, I'll explain what he does in the next few posts but suffice it to say that we are lucky to have found him, to have him as a neighbor and hopefully these sessions will help the Husband rid himself of this disease and hopefully not ever have it return, while the Girl is upstairs getting a bath from her nanny. We are extremely lucky because we have a great support system. the Husband's parents basically dropped everything and moved here when The Husband got sick and they are so good with the Boy, keeping him entertained and happy and also thanks to them I can leave for a few hours a day and hang out with the Husband in the hospital. My very practical mother, who couldn't come herself right away, sent us the next best thing last week, a wonderful Brazilian lady who used to work for her in Rome and who also had lived with us for a year when I was pregnant with the Boy. Loads of friends have dropped food off or gone grocery shopping for us (not a common thing here in Italy), and loads more have called, sent emails, texts and positive thoughts and prayers. We're lucky because the hospital here in Cuneo has a great hematology wing, the personnel is really nice, the doctors are good and the standard of care is great. The Husband reacted well to the first round of chemo, he wasn't too sick and they managed to keep him comfortable. We're lucky because in this day and age we've got the internet and cell phones and videoconferencing and skype so we can keep in touch with the Husband wherever we are, and he keeps sane cause he's got a window out of his 18mq (I'll be using the Italian abbreviation for square meter cause that's the name of his blog). We're lucky because there's been a lot of research on this horrible illness so the chances for recovery are better than ever. We're lucky because we've got two wonderful children and when the Husband gets discouraged he thinks of them and feels better and when I get depressed I have to be happy and upbeat for them so it gets me out of my funk. We're lucky because of the 10 wonderful years we've had together and all the things we've done.

There's another million reasons why we're lucky, and in fact, I'll try to add at least one reason why we're lucky at the end of each post.

I realize I've been droning on and on so I'll quit here for today, I'm adding at the end of this the text of an email I sent a few weeks ago explaining what happened, most of you already know or already received it so this is for those who didn't.

Email sent on Jan. 08^th :

Dear friends, sorry about the collective email, I have some "not so great" news to share and it's easier to do it just once for everyone, this will explain why I haven't answered many of your emails and phone calls.

On December 23^rd my husband, A, was admitted to the hospital and on the 24^th he was diagnosed with acute leukemia. We found out because he had been having random small illnesses (swollen tonsils, a rash on his arms etc) and he was extremely tired, but we thought he was mostly stressed plus the cold weather hit so we figured everything was normal. After a couple of months of going back and forth to the doctor but never really feeling better he had some blood work done and when we got the results we saw that his immune system was completely shot. And that's how we ended up in hematology on the 23^rd (the blood test results had just come in and a doctor friend of ours sent us straight to the hospital). On the 24^th they tested his bone marrow and gave us the terrible news.

The Husband is now in a sterile room, he can only get one visitor at a time (and the visitor wears a mask, hat, shoe and clothes coverings), the visitor obviously has to be completely healthy (a great feat here in the middle of December, when literally everyone has some sort of cold or flu going on!), he can only eat food that's been cooked thoroughly, and the worst part he can't see the kids.

On a more positive note, his room is nice, the personnel here is really great (surprisingly well mannered and upbeat for an Italian hospital!), he's got both his pc and mac, his cell phone, ebook and a wii to pass the time, and he's not feeling horrible yet!

He did his first cycle of chemo and it went pretty well, this will be his worst week because they told us that the first week once you're done with the chemo is when the body reacts to all the chemicals. Now all we can do is pray that he starts producing good, healthy, working white blood cells!

We don't know for sure which type of leukemia it is, but we do know he will have to have at least 3 chemo cycles and a bone marrow transplant.

Obviously, this has shocked and scared all of us, but we are trying to stay positive cause he is young and healthy and his chances of recovery are very good. We have a long road ahead of us and we're counting on a LOT of positive vibes from all our friends and family. The Husband sent out an email much like this one to his friends right after we found out (it's taken me longer to be able to be rational about the whole thing, and also find the time to sit down and write!) and he asked his friends to set their alarms or phone reminders to a certain time each day and to just think of him in a positive manner or to sent him a quick prayer, since we are great believers in the power of positive thoughts and vibes, so I'm asking the same of y'all if you feel like it.

As far as the rest of the family is concerned, I'm home with the kids (for those of you who don't know The Girl was born on November 23^rd, my mother in law has moved into my house (a great help, especially since I've learned to ignore half of what she says and does!), and that's about it. My days are divided between breastfeeding the baby (very time consuming) hanging out with The Boy, who really misses his daddy and doesn't really understand why he's gone, and hanging out at the hospital with The Husband.

As I said, we've got a long road in front of us, but the only thing we care about is that at the end of the road The Husband makes it home completely healthy.

I'm sure this email will result in a lot of questions from everyone, the only thing I ask of you is that you do NOT google leukemia, if you want information on the illness go to the mayo clinic website, or to the National Cancer Institute (http://www.cancer.gov/) website or similar because they give you the information without freaking you out.

Talk soon and love to all and remember good, positive, happy thoughts our way!!!

Y

The Beginning

This is a little strange for me… I’m spreading my wings and starting a blog of my own. I’ve been writing on our (private) family blog for many months now, and the following posts will be from that blog, but now all of a sudden I feel the need for independence, for a place to speak my mind and heart in relative anonimity. So here goes…. a new and hopefully interesting adventure.

Note: the following posts were transferred here on september 19th 2010, when Moomser was born, but I decided to post them with the original posting date to create less confusion.